tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82244159027650687662024-03-12T23:57:30.093-07:00Federal BiddingCRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13182046738836060480noreply@blogger.comBlogger122125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224415902765068766.post-70867414079828398002021-12-17T05:51:00.005-08:002021-12-17T06:00:03.630-08:00Highly Personalized and Unorthodox Running Playlist<p>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">Here we go, folks, another prison playlist, this one to clock my daily runs. Unorthodox, since I don’t check Beats-Per-Minute to match my cadence, rely on
dance, electronica, or other upbeat genres, and often include slow, sad songs.
Other guys like angry, hard tunes to get their adrenaline going, but that doesn’t
work for me. It’s the story songs I like, fueling emotions and energy,
especially those that speak to my time in prison.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The following playlist got me through my
first ever half-marathon last week!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
little over 52 laps around our track!</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i>Cumbersome</i> – Seven Mary Three.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Simply rocks and the band used to play at a
college I attended. One line nails how I felt at the beginning of my bid: “I
have become cumbersome to the world.”</p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i>Bother</i> – Stone Sour. Bleak,
but yeah, sometimes….</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">a.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"></span>“I wish I was too dead to
cry…”</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">b.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"></span>“I wish I was too dead to
care…”</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">c.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"></span>“…my flaws are open season.”</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">d.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"></span>“for this I gave up trying.”</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">e.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"></span>“Wish I’d died instead of
lived.”</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">Just sitting on your bunk, head in hands,
it’s surreal sometimes, as if it’s all happening to someone else. You see guys
around you projecting an air, proclaiming that they don’t care. You learn that
it’s all bullshit. They only wish they didn’t care – would be easier. The part about
“flaws” and “open season”? The media, strangers, even some old friends, tie you
up and make a pinata out of you, taking their swings.</p><p><i>3.<span> </span></i><i>Nobody Praying for Me</i> –
Seether. “Nobody gives a f**k…there’s nobody praying for me.” Let me stress
that this is NOT true in my case. Plenty of people have my back, and for that I’m
both lucky and grateful. But this song gets to that awful, alone feeling that
crosses your mind sometimes (no matter what anybody says). Prison can so mess
with your mind!</p><p>By this point, you’d think I’d
have quit my run to curl up in a fetal position on the track. Nope! I’m just
getting into the groove, emotion coursing through my body, reflecting on how
low I’ve been at times, but knowing that I’ve risen past it. Now to add some
fuel to the Man-I-Got-A-Messed-Up-Life fire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Miles left in this run….
</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i>Hurt</i> – Johnny Cash. This
song has been on previous playlists, but it’s a keeper. Most guys here will
understand the lyric:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I hurt myself
today, to see if I still feel/I focus on the pain, the only thing that’s real.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hurt is complicated and takes many forms:
shame, guilt, anger, self-recrimination, substance abuse, arguing, fighting
with those you love, etc. I’ve said it and heard it from other guys too many
times to count, that the pain is at least better than feeling dead inside. You
don’t want to become numb to the world.</p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i><span dir="LTR"></span>Cages</i> – Need to Breathe. At
times, I think we are all stuck in one kind of cage or another, with no simple
answer as to how to get out, “fighting uphill battles,” “looking back on all
the wreckage,” “we needed redemption and all we got was cages.” No matter how
hard you try, will you always be locked up in a cage, even if it’s one you
built yourself?</p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i>I See a Darkness</i> – Johnny Cash.
Cash could wring so much emotion from a sparse arrangement. This song makes me
think of all the good men I’ve met in prison, all we’ve shared and endured. As
the Man in Black sings, I hope they all find peace someday. You try to look on
the bright side, but sometimes when you look around, all you see is darkness.</p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Depressed yet, dear reader? I’m running strong now, just
about finished with my Morrissey phase (look it up – 80s musician not known as
the most chipper dude). We’ve dived deep, acknowledging how crappy I’ve felt
for days on end, yet realizing that I’m still chugging along in spite of it
all, that’s what motivates the back end of the run. Resiliency is my super
power!</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i>I and Love and You </i>– Avett Brothers.
Bittersweet song, used to sing along to it with wife and kids all the time, but
now here I am in prison and they’re so far away. No way to put it, except to
say, it sucks! No one to blame but myself, so no pity party, but still…sucks
bigtime. I’ve learned, though, that the key to making it through this bid is
acceptance. Do a Rocky and pick your ass up and get back in the fight.</p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i>Straight to Hell</i> – Drivin’
and Cryin’. In college, would sit around with buddies, singing this song, not
to blaspheme in any way, but with a smile and laughter. We didn’t think about
going to hell, but solely about accepting who we are. To make it through the
day, you have to deal with what brought you to this point in your life, then
get on with living. I’ve seen countless guys struggle to achieve this stage.
Some can’t get there, still espousing a victim mentality, always blaming someone
else for their problems. It may be a cliché, but you have to take it like a
man. Own your life, good or bad.</p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i>Strength</i> – The Alarm. An
oldie from the 80s. I remember at age 15, moving to a new town, tagging along
with my Bro and his college buddies to see this band opening for Pat Benatar.
Though I’m guessing it wasn’t written in a prison cell, this line is fitting: “Someone
write me a letter/I need to know I’m still alive/someone give me a telephone
call/I need to hear human sound/someone open up the door and let me out of this
place/I’ve been caged up for oh so long/I don’t know if I’m living or I’m dying.”</p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10<span> <span> </span></span></span></span><i>Sigh No More </i>– Mumford and Sons. Early on they sing, “You know
me/you know me” and it reminds me of my younger daughter. As a toddler, she would
wake up early and crawl into bed with Mom & Dad. I’d act surprised,
wondering aloud who could be waking us up. She’d grab my head in her hands,
bring her round face close to mine, and exclaim, “You Know Me!” Powerful
lyrics: “Love, it will not betray you, dismay you, or enslave you/it will set
you free to be/more like the man you were meant to be.” That line repeats with
a little more energy each time. In prison, a huge hurdle is learning to love
yourself and accept that others still love you, no matter how awful you feel.
This song speaks to gradually feeling stronger, building on that love until the
day I walk out of here.</p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">11<i> </i></span></span><i>Beautiful</i> – Christina Aguilera. “I am beautiful no matter what
they say/words can’t bring me down.” I’ve heard some pretty harsh words said
about me, but words don’t make you who you are unless you let them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Btw, have been told I make quite a sight
singing along to this tune as I round the track!</p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">12 </span></span><i>Alive </i>– Pearl Jam. Probably we’ve all had this thought: I’m
still alive, but do I deserve to be? Do I deserve a second chance? Do I deserve
the support I’ve received? In the end, savor the new day coming, and the
opportunity you have to face it.</p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">13<i> </i></span></span><i>The Sound of Silence</i> – Disturbed (Live at Red Rocks). Yep, the
old Simon and Garfunkel song, but it’s the emotion of this band’s performance
that draws me in. The tune and the voice build and build to the powerful
ending, like something’s bursting. Of course, gotta be one of the Top Ten ever
most famous opening lines: “Hello Darkness, my old friend/I’ve come to talk
with you again.” I’ve listened to this song hundreds of times, and I’m still
not sure what all of it means. That said, I’ve spent many a sleepless night in
darkness, at times locked alone in a cell. So I grasp the cliché, that silence
can be deafening, when you’re left alone with only your thoughts echoing in
your head. But what I really love is the vibe of this tune (could be singing
complete nonsense, and I’d still get goose bumps).</p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">14<i> </i></span></span><i>Only God Knows Why</i> – Kid Rock. Always my go-to song, from Motor
City’s own self-proclaimed white trash rocker. Who’d have thunk it? “People don’t
know about the things I say or do/they don’t understand about the shit I’ve
been through.” And the kicker: “So I think I’ll keep a walkin’ with my head
held high/I’ll keep movin’ on/and only God knows why.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I see it every day, maybe it is God in
action, but guys dust themselves off and get back to it, many who have it a lot
tougher than I do. There’s this little voice on your shoulder that tells you to
get up off that bunk, go do something, anything! Read, study, exercise, talk to
somebody, just don’t sit there and let it eat you up! My version of this is my
favorite running quote: Either you run the day, or the day runs you. Some days
my run is easy, like floating on air. Other days, it’s a grueling marathon,
uphill the whole way with wind in your face. Regardless, you have to get to the
finish line. Put another slog in the rearview.</p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Well, there you have it. Yes, a pretty unorthodox playlist
for a run, but it works for me. About 2 hours from now I’ll be cueing it up and
hitting the track, then a long hot shower, a bit of reading, and hit the sack.
Another one in the books. A new guy once asked me if it gets easier over time.
Had to tell him the truth as I know it. It actually gets harder. The key is
that you have to figure out how to become stronger!</p>
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{margin-bottom:0in;}</style></p>CRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13182046738836060480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224415902765068766.post-30324506300307895742021-11-23T05:05:00.000-08:002021-11-23T05:05:39.920-08:00The Great Instant Milk Experiment<p>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">I LOVE MILK!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Milk, yes milk, is in my <i>Top Five Drinks List</i> behind only Duvel
Belgian Golden Ale, and followed by YooHoo, Coca-Cola, and original lemon/lime
Gatorade.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And for a while here, I’ve
been living in Milk Heaven, strangely thanks to the pandemic. Most of the past
year+ we’ve been in emergency mode, and to prevent spread of the virus, meals
have been delivered to our unit instead of being served in the cafeteria.
Breakfast arrives at 6 am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What with
people sleeping in, choosing not to eat breakfast, or just not being milk
fiends like me, I’ve been swamped with milk cartons or, sadly sometimes, milk
pouches. Milk for cereal, for coffee, put on ice to save for lunch and dinner,
more than even I can drink.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But then came the day the milk died.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The kitchen felt that too much contraband was
leaving the dining hall smuggled in on the meal carts (go figure), so covid
protocols be damned, we’re going back to the cafeteria again. We were promised
that each unit would dine separately to reduce the risk of prison-wide infection,
but since that would require time, effort, and coordination, the guards threw
up their hands, said whatev’, and – Delta Variant, anyone? – the whole prison
population gets thrown in together at meal times.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So no more hand-me-down milk for me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I was not to be deterred!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My initial plan was to keep to myself, eat a
quick breakfast, grab a couple extra milks and rush back to my cell for coffee.
But even though they couldn’t be bothered to keep the units separated during
meals, the guards began to fiercely police food leaving the dining hall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Heading back to the unit the first day meant
you were scrutinized, checked-over, and possibly frisked by no fewer than three
officers. I mean, you’d think milk was the infection agent for covid or
something. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I can imagine their conversations, along the lines of:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>"Officer Smith, you seized six milk cartons
today!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank goodness you are keeping
the units safe!" Or "Men, remember, there is nothing we need less than a bunch of
criminals hopped up on dairy products and strung out on calcium!"</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Did I mention that I love milk? What was I going to do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was willing to try the old armpit hide or
waistband stuff to get past the guards, but to stop that the staff pulled out the
big guns:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>UNIFORMS!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And not just any uniforms!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jumpsuits!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I mean, seriously? Nothing makes you feel less like a real person than
parading around in one-piece jumpers. I’ve known inmates who refuse to leave
their cells all day if they have to wear these things. But if this new costume
keeps guys from taking a carton of milk back to their units, well the prison
system is all for it.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They had me beat. No way could I get past the guard
gauntlet in this get-up. So I turned to my last resort, a truly drastic
move:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instant Milk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, I’m a milk snob, the very idea of
instant milk upsets me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a kid, my
mother once tried to mix milk powder with liquid milk in order to save money,
but my siblings and I bucked on that one– we weren’t going out like that! After
all, what self-respecting American child is going to taint their monster
cereals (of which the rare <i>Yummy Mummy </i>may be the best) with – gasp! – instant milk?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But here I am in prison 40 years later, and it’s my only
choice. I don’t have my old fave <i>Count Chocula</i>, so here it’s <i>Blueberry Flaxseed
Granola</i>. I open the powdered milk container, scoop out 3 tablespoons, add
exactly 8 ounces of cold water and, with a sniff, begin to stir. It takes
longer than you’d think for the granules to dissolve, but eventually, yes, the
moment of truth arrives!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do I dare to
drink it straight? Or only in cereal or coffee? Baby steps:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>two spoonfuls in the coffee (hmm, not
bad).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With a bowl of granola? (Tastes
okay, but not cold enough.)</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Day Two of the Great Instant Milk Experiment:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I left a frozen bottle of water out overnight,
thinking by morning it would have melted down to meet my strict coldness
standard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fail. Again, with the coffee
it was okay, but just not cold enough for cereal.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Day Three of the GIME:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Up at 6 am, mixed the stuff up and only then put the milk on ice for an
hour and a half.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Result?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Satisfactory, maybe this could be tolerable
long-term. I mean, it’s nowhere close to the real thing. Based on usage and
price (I have to buy this stuff at the commissary store), it will probably cost
me about $15/month to avoid the mess they call breakfast.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m doing okay, but you never know when I
might crack and find myself suiting up in my jumpsuit for fresh milk again!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
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lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Known on the compound as “that
old guy who runs all the time.” Overlooking the “old” part, can’t argue with
that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we’re not locked down, I get
in 50-minute runs around our quarter-mile track inside the walls, averaging
35-40 miles per week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me, that’s up
to six miles a day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes, when I’m
feeling especially chipper, I can push it to seven.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not the fastest guy here, but for a guy
in his 50s, I do okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can maintain an
8-9-minute pace the whole time, steady as she goes.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Lately,
some of the younger guys have taken to running sprints on the track.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When invited to join them, I declined. Trying
to keep up with 20 and 30 year olds in sprinting?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Um, no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I told them, “Let me know when you want to do a 5-miler.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Little did I know that they would take me up
on this challenge!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As you
would imagine, most guys in prison work out and they are pumped. Pull-ups,
push-ups, burpees, curls, more burpees, all day long. So these guys with
superhero physiques imagine they can do anything. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before I knew it, a plan was hatched, a 5-mile
challenge race.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seven of the fittest
dudes were recruited, ranging in age from 23-38; the rest of the guys laid
bets. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even being the old guy, I felt
pretty confident.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of these guys
would crush me if we ran just one lap, but I knew I could chug along at a
2-minutes a lap pace pretty much forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Race Day
arrived and the betting was fierce!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I walked
out on the track like Tiger Woods. You could bet the field against me. My
competitors each had his own strategy:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>go out hard to wear me out, use each other to draft, hold my slow pace
and outsprint me at the end, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My plan
was to clock my 2 minute laps until and unless I needed to go faster.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So right
off the rip two guys raced ahead. One of them dropped out on lap 8 of our 20.
At the 3-mile mark, the other guy still led by half a lap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The rest of us hung together, except for one
runner who lagged far behind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our 3-mile
time was 23:40, just under 2-minutes per lap, in line with my plan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The guy in front eventually faded and walked
off the track at lap 14, along with one of the guys who’d been pacing me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, just three of us were left, and that one guy half
a lap back. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>As we turned into mile four, two were totally gassed, so
that left me with just one to beat.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>What he
didn’t know was that I had a secret weapon, having just read an inspirational
book by an ex-Navy Seal, endurance athlete and overall bad-ass David Goggins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I came to the track with a warrior’s mindset.
No amount of taunts or trash talk could touch me. Yes, this was a
good-natured race, just something to do, but for me it became a true test of
will. I built it up in my mind, so that my opponents were not just fellow
inmates. They represented all the obstacles and detractors I expect to face
when I leave prison. I silently repeated Goggins’ hashtag over and over:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>#canthurtme.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As we turned into the last mile, my opponent became the embodiment of
the pain, the shame, the haters, the DA, the prison, basically everything that
has happened to me since my arrest seven years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wasn’t angry, but I was armored.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We hit the
last lap side-by-side, the whole prison yard cheering and jeering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My opponent (who, by the way, is a nice guy
and a friend), said, “Last lap, I got you OG, you can’t outsprint me at the
end.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few of my buddies who had also
read the Goggins book heard my reply, the only words I spoke the whole race,
taken straight from the book:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“The
problem for you is that I’m a Bad Ass MotherF__ker.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I dropped the hammer.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>No way was
I going to wait until the last turn to outsprint a guy half my age. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I kicked in to a higher gear at the start of
the lap and that final quarter mile went by in 1:28. Margin of victory:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>20 meters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Winner:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Old Man.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Not only
did I win, what I said at the end of the race had made its rounds before I
caught my breath, the whole yard in hysterics, because no one had ever heard me talk like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, does my Michael
Jordanesque fabricated battle mean that I won’t have struggles in the future?
Of course not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But for this one day, at
least, I got my mindset straight. As a bonus, I’m now King of the Track. Thank
you David Goggins. #canthurtme.</p>
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Initially, the tried and true method was applied, so we had Asian Scooter (the OG Scooter) and White Scooter. But then OG Scooter went all "Highlander" on everyone ("There can be only one!"), so we gave the new guy an entirely new handle. Don't ask why, but he shall forever be known as Moped.</p><p>Other guys include the obligatory OG and Old School, a Whitey who is Black, a guy dubbed Bama who is from Carolina, and a Chino and a Tiburon (that would be me) who aren't Hispanic. Big Shirley is our male-to-female Trans prisoner (who prefers to be known as Maddie and whose real name is, I kid you not, Guy). Think I'll reach out to Roseanne Cash about possibly recording my new song, "A Girl Named Guy." (For those of you who don't get this little joke, seek Johnny Cash's "A Boy Named Sue" on the interwebs. Btw, did you know that this ditty was written by poet Shel Silverstein?)</p><p>So on to the demeaning names: A guy with a partial arm amputation is known as Chicken Wing. Big Al isn't quite five feet tall, but Big Troy stand 6'3" and easily 300 pounds. Goldsmith's teeth are capped in gold. Chief is Native American.</p><p>In the non-sense category we have Slick, Nut, Dig, Wax, Mars, and Bear. All of these guys can explain their nicknames, but their explanations only make sense to them.</p><p>Let's not forget Buddy Lee and Ricky Bobby -- both, of course, good old boys.</p><p>Moving on to the celebrities, there's a Don Johnson, a Randy Newman, a Martin, a Luther, and a King, a Polo and an Usher. But the most amazing name of all, there's this guy who goes by the initials JFK. Not a nickname, it turns out. His full name is John Fitzgerald Kennedy! For good measure, his cellie's name is Hoover, so of course he goes by J. Edgar.<br /></p>CRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13182046738836060480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224415902765068766.post-5672406657000584432021-05-18T07:13:00.001-07:002021-05-18T07:13:44.448-07:00Emotional Overload Playlist<p> The songs on today's playlist all get to me in some way. I'm not claiming that they're all great songs or that they'll make you cry, but they work for me. When I don't care to fake it or put on the brave face, I just put this on and let it roll. This playlist, for me, is cathartic, cleansing in a way. All the stress from the pandemic and the BOP's response, all the hassles my fellow inmates and I have endured, the isolation, loneliness, sorrow - I find that sometimes you have to embrace it.</p><p>We were allowed outside early this morning, 39 degrees and windy. I put on my earphones and ran, not too fast, not hard, but just let the music drive me through all my feelings, "alone" with them for 45 minutes. Just ran away from it all. I'd like to claim that it was the wind and allergies that had my eyes watering, but you'd know better. Anyway, here are the songs on my <i>Emotional Overload Playlist</i>, in hopes they may connect with you:</p><p>1.<span> </span><i>Hallelujah </i>(Jeff Buckley). Pure beauty this version of Leonard Cohen's classic.</p><p>2.<span> </span><i>Bartender</i> (Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds version). DMB does tearjerkers? What gets me here is Dave's tone of desperation throughout, on bended knee searching for something, anything....</p><p>3.<span> <i> </i></span><i>Can't Find My Way Home</i> (Eric Clapton & Steve Winwood). A guy strummed this on guitar on the ballfield one evening at dusk, while we all sang along, lost in thought over the hard journey ahead to find our ways home.</p><p>4.<span> </span><i>Bother</i> (Stone Sour). "I wish I was too dead to care...I wish I was too dead to cry...my flaws are open season." Any guy in prison will tell you they've had these thoughts. Some give in and go dead inside. The rest of us? Just gluttons for punishment, I guess.</p><p>5.<span> </span><i>Bridge Over Troubled Water</i> (Simon & Garfunkle). Maybe you have to be over 40 to know this song, and if so, no explanation needed. If younger, hit the Interwebs - it'll be worth it.</p><p>6.<span> <i> </i></span><i>Into the Mystic</i> (Van Morrison). One of my Top Ten Favorite Songs Ever! Van at the top of his game, every line telling a story, and all that longing oozing.</p><p>7.<span> </span><i>Nothing Compares 2 U</i> (Prince & Rosie Gaines). It's Prince's song, but it's Gaines who pushes it to the stratosphere. When they trade lines they just tear at your heart, then the horns hit to bring it home.</p><p>8.<span> </span><i>Cold</i> (Chris Stapleton). Dude sounds as if his heart is absolutely shattered. No idea if this is autobiographical, but I'm buying it. The guitar crying in the background adds a knockout punch.</p><p>9.<span> </span><i>He Ain't Heavy... </i>(Neil Diamond). Cheesy, you say? Maybe. Do you have a brother? Close friend? Sister? This song will make you want to give them a call.</p><p>10.<span> </span><i>Fast Car</i> (Black Pumas). "Anyplace is better." Trying so damned hard, but getting nowhere, yet still optimistic about somehow starting over.</p><p>11.<span> </span><i>Love Me Anyway</i> (Pink & Chris Stapleton). Who hasn't had these thoughts?</p><p>12.<span> </span>Sometimes I Cry (Chris Stapleton). When I can't do nothin' else....</p><p>13.<span> </span><i>I and Love and You</i> (Avett Bros. - Live Vol. 3). My wife and I sang along to this tune at one of their concerts, and as I remember it, half the crowd was singing along, too, in tears.</p><p>14.<span> </span><i>Everybody Hurts</i> (REM - Live in Dublin). While you aren't sitting in lockup like me, you and everyone else out there has hurt. But it helps to remember, that you are not alone.</p><p>15.<span> </span><i>Anyone </i>(Demi Lovato - Live at Grammy's). She has to re-start it, because she starts crying. Power, vulnerability, despair - heart-wrenching! This one's the knockout punch - if your iron heart has not cracked after this one, you must be an android.</p><p>Okay, that's the new list - hope you like it! It helps me, and maybe it can do the same for you on a tough day. <br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>CRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13182046738836060480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224415902765068766.post-14075108411212780372021-04-28T10:09:00.000-07:002021-04-28T10:09:35.079-07:00The Only Line that Matters<p>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">This unit’s got 3 computers for the 128 guys living
here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They can be used to check emails
and account balances, download music, read prison memos, and submit electronic
cop-outs (inmate requests). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Everybody
wants to use these pc’s, of course, so you would guess that there would be some
sort of sign-up sheet, assignment by cell number, maybe form a line? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, no, and no.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Remember the stock exchange trading floor in the film <i>Wall
Street</i>?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All those manic traders shouting,
gesticulating, pointing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If only things
here could be that organized.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The minute
the cell doors open in the morning, all hell breaks loose:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I’m first!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“Yo, you got me?” “Who’s last?” Keep in mind that the unit is just one
big room with tiers of cells wrapped around it, like you see on tv.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As soon as you step out of your cell, you
start calling your spot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So when one of the
lucky first 3 guys to the computers finally finishes his work, the scream, “Who’s
next?” goes out. Guys call their spots from the shower, while playing cards, or
on the phone. Utter chaos!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now suppose you are downloading music? There’s a 15-minute
time limit before you have to log off and start over, but doing so is considered
a breach of some unwritten rule.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Therefore,
you have guys actually getting in line behind themselves, saying things like:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Wait up, I’m after me!”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The complainers, of course, get upset about how long they
have to wait to use a computer. I try to explain that if “being in line” means
you can be anywhere on the unit doing whatever, there’s no real pressure for
guys to wrap up their computer work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
the idea of forming an actual waiting line?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They go, “What, you mean
I’d actually have to stand in a real line?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>End of discussion.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">After all, guys in prison hate lines.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know, everybody hates lines, but in prison,
crank that up a notch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have to stand
in line to shower, to use the phone, to use the bathroom, to put hot water in
your mug, to get in and out of every door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Lines, lines, everywhere a line….</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Some guys, however, can transcend line hatred. These zen Yodas
have achieved a higher level of existence that I am seeking to attain. Their
mantra has been stated many ways, but always comes down to “I’ve got nowhere to
go and all day to get there.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If the
chow line eats up a half hour, well that’s 30-minutes closer to going
home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To these guys, all of life is a
line, and the only one that matters is the one at the exit door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So if my life is a 24-7 line to release from
prison, why does it matter where I spend a tiny chunk of it on any particular day?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can be in line to play chess or shower or
use the computer, what’s the big deal? </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The only line that is important to me ends with my foot
touching soil outside the front gates. As I told one greenhorn when he asked me
why I seem so chill in line:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“The only
line that matters to me ends with the start of the rest of my life.”</p>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">The topic today is the tv show <i>Charmed</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe you know it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Alyssa Milano, Rose McGowan, the other girl,
and sometimes the pre-Big-Boys Kailey Coroco, attractive women to be sure, but
plenty of shows have hot women. As you might expect, the popularity of tv shows
in prison is directly correlated to said hotness.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Still, Alyssa Milano alone cannot explain the INSANE level
of devotion inspired by <i>Charmed</i> among my fellow guests of the BOP.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The following is a 100% true report of our prison
Nielson ratings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the common room,
there are eight televisions. One is dedicated to sports (usually ESPN), another
to news (most likely CNN), the others to Telemundo, BET/VH1, and – the tv known
as the “white” tv is typically tuned to Discovery/History/A&E.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This leaves three tv’s that rotate among
FX/AMC/TNT (movie channels), and local tv for shows like <i>American Idol</i> and <i>Family
Feud</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All good, no problems, right?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Not so fast!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An argument,
a serious argument, broke out over which tv would have <i>Charmed</i> on every morning.
As more than one person emphatically stated, “I ain’t never been to no prison
in the m-f’ing BOP that don’t show <i>Charmed</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">"
</span>Guys got really upset over this. Life without <i>Charmed</i>? Unthinkable! Some
guys got into discussing what things are worth taking a stand for, the list
going something like this:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(1) being
called a B__tch; (2) comments about your wife or mother; (3) dude blowin’ up
your hustle (taking money out of your pocket); and (4) <i>Charmed</i>!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Obsessive viewers can quote lines from their favorite
episodes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you say, Season 3, Episode
4, they can recite a synopsis that will pass a fact check conducted via phone
with a Googler on the other end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve
even observed guys turning the channel from a <i>Breaking Bad</i> marathon so as not
to miss <i>Charmed</i>!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Workout schedules are
planned around favorite episodes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
other day, they even switched off ESPN to watch the show.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, you must understand the gravity of such
a situation. The gamblers need ESPN nearly 24-7 for scores, odds, injury
updates, etc. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But for <i>Charmed</i>, hey, go
for it.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">As I may have said before, prison is truly Bizarro World (refer
to the interwebs for Bizarro-Superman explanation and then <i>Seinfeld</i> for an
amusing take on the concept).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, on
what planet would someone argue that <i>Charmed</i> is a good tv show? Milano a great
actress?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t get me wrong, <i>Who’s the
Boss</i> was a cute show. What 12-15 year old boy didn’t like Milano on that show? But nobody was ever fooled into thinking she’d be a future Oscar
winner.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Maybe it’s like comfort food – just knowing it will be on every
day, that you can rely on it, adds some continuity to your otherwise <i>Groundhog
Day</i> life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all, it’s a harmless,
sometimes amusing/entertaining way to eat up some time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They show the episodes in order. When the
four seasons end, they just start over again from the beginning, and the guys
just keep watching!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I wonder if the ladies of <i>Charmed</i> know about their
incredible popularity in prison? Here’s a million dollar idea:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“<i>Prison Workouts with Alyssa, Rose, and the
Other Lady</i>”- a book or day calendar!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
could dress the Witches in prison garb and add in little blurbs about them,
like VH1’s pop-up videos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If – no when! –
this takes off, you can move on to other publications, such as:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>Orange is the New Black Yoga</i>, <i>Martha Stewart’s
Convict Cooking</i> (don’t laugh, through her friendship with Snoop, guys in prison
LOVE them some Martha!), and <i>Felicity and Lori’s Guide to Prison
Parenting</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’re talking media empire
here! <i>ConvicTV</i>, books, movies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">... </span>Just wait
until the former President goes to prison, this thing will explode bigly, it
will be YUGE!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">This is by far the most secure Low Security federal prison
in the country. These guys love locking doors. You’d think they must have attended
a Compulsive Door Lockers Anonymous group and recruited guards there. The sound
of that lock clicking really starts to get to you. I have nightmares of
something jumping off while I’m in the shower and the door getting locked, so I’m
stuck in a shower cubicle you can barely squeeze into for God knows how
long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least I’d be clean!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The BOP’s approach to Covid continues to baffle us all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’re two to a cell, at maximum capacity, but
they make a half-hearted stab at socially distancing us at lunch, rec, etc.
Like those of you in the world, we are simply exhausted by it all. It’s
difficult to look back and comprehend what’s transpired over the past
year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least the days keep ticking off,
each day one step closer to home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
have no idea what kind of shape the world will be in when I join you out there.
All I know is this message from a guy who recently got out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He wrote:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“Imagine the worst day when you get home – no job, no money, PO on your
case, dog got hit by a car, truck in the shop, like that. You don’t know what
to do, so maybe you just go sit outside and enjoy the sunshine. Instantly, this
worst day you can imagine is 1,000 times better than your best day in prison.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Here’s one way to productively mark time until that glorious
“worst” day. I just finished my sixth project as a self-appointed <i>Locker Engineer</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First you have to understand that everything
we own – our books, our grooming stuff, our clothes, our bowls, everything –
has to fit in this 3-foot by 2-foot by 1.5 foot locker, that’s divided
vertically down the middle with shelves on one side and a void on the other
where nothing will go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My project?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>McGivering shelves for that blank side of the
locker.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Here’s my solution. You can try it at home, a little
pandemic fun, if you will.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Let’s start by collecting materials:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(1) one flexible rubber (stab-proof) pen (if
not available, because, well, you aren’t in prison, any small flexible
cylindrical piece of rubber will do); (2) 10-15 to go sporks/spoons in their
clear plastic wrapper; (3) sturdy cardboard box at least 11x16 inches; (4)
scissors; and (5) ruler.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Step One</u>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Creation of
homemade wire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Open all the utensils,
careful not to mangle the wrapper (that’s what we’re using here). Discard the utensil,
its accompanying world’s least absorbent napkin, and the salt pack (unless you’re
working on some good hypertension for your Compassionate Release Plan).</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Step Two</u>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Carefully tear each
wrapper into 2-3 vertical strips.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p><u>
</u><p class="MsoNormal"><u>Step Three</u>: Now for the magic! Twirl each length of wrapper
until the entire length is twisted into a string, then (careful not to let it
untwist), with a nice even steady pull, stretch, and abra-cadabra, you now have
what looks and feels like high-tensile strength fishing line!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Step Four</u>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Repeat
with all the other wrappers, then tie them together lengthwise into one long line
with square knots, and you have a sizable length of fishing line.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Step Five</u>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Create the
Support Structure. Remove the ink cartridge from the flexi-pen (kind of like
the ink tube in cheap Bic pens) and cut the clear rubber cylinder into 3/8”
sections. To make the anchors strong, fold a single piece of your fishing line
in half and slide it through the rubber tube. Tie the ends of the fishing line
together. Now run a second rubber piece through the loop you’ve just made, so
you end up with a T-shaped anchor with a loop (see illustration below).</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4dc4sCEUQhMuu3J3Jt7WbkmyVrqww2F8i5-SYbkTmNoXkIAk4tioD2YcMTfds0p0h9ZB9EGsQluqkoZuNjfXUxwpvJXg22MMO7f9tzkbr-QAREOzR4rfv13MuJIFXt3mXJAkKCzw0lnc/s934/loop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="934" data-original-width="814" height="234" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4dc4sCEUQhMuu3J3Jt7WbkmyVrqww2F8i5-SYbkTmNoXkIAk4tioD2YcMTfds0p0h9ZB9EGsQluqkoZuNjfXUxwpvJXg22MMO7f9tzkbr-QAREOzR4rfv13MuJIFXt3mXJAkKCzw0lnc/w204-h234/loop.jpg" width="204" /></a></div><br /> <p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Step Six</u>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fit the
horizontal part of the T into one of the holes in the locker (where shelves would
ordinarily go) and you’ve got a pretty sturdy anchor in place. Repeat in other holes
around the corners of the locker.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Step Seven</u>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Run your
length of fishing line from one anchor loop to another, working diagonally, to
create a spider’s web across the opening, creating an under structure for your
eventual shelf.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Step Eight</u>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cut out a
square of cardboard that will fit the frame, lay it on top of the spider’s web
you’ve formed, and Voila!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A sturdy shelf!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’d be amazed at how strong it is.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Step Nine</u>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Repeat to
make two more shelves and you now have six equally-sized cubbies in your
locker, all strong enough to hold books!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And what will this cost you? Nothing! But your construction
crew will greatly appreciate your opening a bag of <i>Hot Tamales</i> (the greatest
candy ever!) to share around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The best
part is, not only are the shelves useful, building them takes up pretty much a
whole day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tick another one off the
calendar, help out a buddy, and eat yourself into a sugar-induced stupor. Hey, another
successful day in prison! </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">Okay, scratch the previous playlist for now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have breaking news! Tomorrow the famed
Covid Lockdown 18 (those of us confined to our cells for over 100 days amidst
transfer to new prison – see previous posts), we finally get to go
outdoors!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To the prison rec yard!
Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Guys are so
hyped, it’s like Oprah’s giving out cars or something! </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, in preparation for my first walk/run on the track since
before Thanksgiving, I’m shifting to EPP (Emergency Playlist Preparation), all tunes with
an upbeat jogging tempo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This list is
(mostly) ‘90s rap, a little something to get the old legs moving again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m so excited!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i>Hit ‘em Up</i> (2Pac).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Basically Tupac and the West Coast crew
calling out Biggie, Puffy, and the East Coast rappers. All fun and games until
both Tupac and Biggie ended up dead.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i>Hypnotize</i> (Notorious B.I.G.). “Poppin’ them
smooth since the days of Underoos.” That line always makes me laugh. (If you’re
too young to know what “underoos” are, check out the interwebs.)</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i>I Left My Wallet in El Segundo</i> (A Tribe Called
Quest). I like this one because it’s a story, not the era’s usual braggadocio,
killing, etc. An adventure tale where things don’t go quite as hoped.</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i>Juice</i> (Notorious B.I.G.). An urban memoir: “I
made the change from a common thief/to up close and personal with Robin Leach.”
Before <i>MTV Cribs</i>, remember <i>Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous</i>? That’s when you knew
you’d made it.</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i>Unbelievable</i> (Notorious B.I.G.). “I got 357 ways
to simmer, saute, I’m the winner all day.” Biggie knew how to “serve up” other
rappers; makes me smile every time I hear him go off like that.</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i>0 to 100</i> (Drake). Most current song that I own,
and it’s not that new.</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i>Warning</i> (Notorious B.I.G.). Great beat for keeping
up my running pace, plus a lot of clever slanted rhymes in here for a guy who
claimed to not be that bright.</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i>Lose Yourself</i> (Eminem). When I’m getting tired,
this one will help me catch that second wind.</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i>Welcome 2 Detroit</i> (Trick Trick).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Detroit’s call out that the West and East Coast
rappers better not overlook them anymore.</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i>Run
this Town</i> (JayZ/Rihanna/Kanye). Rihanna’s contribution is great: “I’m just trying
to change the color on your mood ring.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Remember mood rings?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hilarious!</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">11.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i>2
of Amerikas Most Wanted</i> (2Pac & Snoop). “Nothin’ but a Gangsta Party.” This
one in honor of all the wannabe gangstas in prison.</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">12.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i>Hostile
Gospel</i> (Talib Kweli). “The truth is hard to swallow/and it will leave you scarred
tomorrow.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ain’t that the truth. Kweli is
a smart guy, a great lyricist. So many clever, thought-provoking lines in this
one.</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">13.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i>Eat
to Live</i> (Talib Kweli). Story about a family struggling to survive. Vivid
picture of the lives of the impoverished. “Grandma say Jesus will be here any
day/good ‘cause with nothin’ to eat/it’s gettin’ hard to pray.”</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">14.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i>Wu
Banga 101 </i>(Ghostface Killah, GZA, Cappadonna).</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">15.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i>Legend
of the Liquid Sword</i> (GZA). He’s from the Wu Tang Clan. Great voice, great beat.</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">16.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i>It’s
Not a Game</i> (Raekwon & GZA). “If you don’t stand for this life, you fall for
anything/we plan our dreams/it ain’t a game/we don’t run game, we run
businesses/watch us shine/watch the world be our witnesses.”</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">17.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i>We
Will Rob You</i> (Raekwon/Slick Rick/GZA/Masta Killa). Another story song. Maybe it's because I'm
just a middle-aged White guy, but tales like this are more engaging to me than staccato
yelling about how great you are.</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Woohoo! Alright!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So,
the 18 of us looked like extras from <i>The Walking Dead</i>. After 100 days in
lockdown, we stumbled outside, pale, cringing at the sunlight, but – we made it!
Let me tell you, never has an oppressive, barbed-wired, walled-in, guard
towered, spotlighted blight of a so-called Rec Yard looked so beautiful!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, the Morman’s say it’s in Missouri or
someplace, but I may have just found Eden!</p>
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{margin-bottom:0in;}</style></p>CRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13182046738836060480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224415902765068766.post-2947880813258071032021-03-18T14:17:00.000-07:002021-03-18T14:17:09.347-07:00Country and Western Prison Playlist<p>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">So things have finally started looking up – relatively speaking
– after 100 days of lockdown. We finally received our property!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now that I have my MP3 player (Prison-Pod), I
spent a couple hours piecing together a new playlist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This one has the added benefit of drowning
out MAGA Man’s snoring!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i>Folsom Prison Blues</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Might as well jump right in with a classic,
but let’s switch it up by going with a version by Keb Mo from Kindred Spirit: A
Tribute to Johnny Cash.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i>Bartender</i>. This song sums up the attitude you
get from a lot of guys in prison.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The “Oh,
I f__ked up this time, might as well just sit here and take it.” No bitterness,
just a resigned, “Oh well.”</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i>Tennessee Whiskey</i> (Chris Stapleton
version).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No offense to any Kentucky bourbon
fans, but Jack Daniels is the woe-is-me country drink of choice.</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i>Whiskey Glasses</i> (Morgan Wallen). What’s a
country song without whiskey and women? Although, if you follow the news, old
Morgan has some other issues to contend with right now.</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i>You’ll Never Leave Harlan Alive</i> (Patty Lawless).
Hauntingly beautiful song. I’ve met some guys from the nearly mythical Harlan
County, and it sounds like a pretty rough life. Melancholic story that puts
things in perspective. For some, day-to-day life is a struggle.</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i>Beers and Sunshine</i> (Darius “Hootie” Rucker). Not
all country songs are about sorrowful drinking. Hootie picks us up a little
bit. This song makes me think about the current state of the world, when he
sings, “The only BS I need is Beers and Sunshine” and “…everyone’s down in a
world gone crazy.”</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i>Allentown</i> (Eric Church). Okay, just stop! Before
anyone yells about this being a Billy Joel song and not country, it’s my playlist
and my hometown, so I can include it if I want. Plus Eric Church makes it
country.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I include this not only because
I like my hometown, but because of some of the lyrics. You have to be tough to
have grown up in Allentown back in the day. Granted, I missed a lot of this (thanks
to my wonderful parents), but the ethos is passed down. As the song says, “It’s
hard to keep a good man down, but I won’t be giving up today!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This song speaks to my current situation,
too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Toughness and resiliency are needed
even at the “easiest” prison. All I can say is, I won’t give up today. It’s
just how we roll in A-Town.</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i>I See a Darkness</i> (Johnny Cash). Performed here
by the Man in Black, this song was written by one of the Oldham brothers (Will,
I think) from the band Palace. He also goes by the name Bonnie Prince Billy. All
I can say about this song is that I’m man enough to admit that at times it
makes me cry. Sitting alone in the dark, thinking about some of the friends I’ve
made in prison. We’ve seen the true Darkness, but we still hope that the love
we have in us will win out, that family, friends and society will the true
us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“To live I wont’ let go.”</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><i>Sometimes I Cry</i> (Chris Stapleton). Life in Prison:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“There are days I can walk around like I’m
alright/I can keep the pain from coming out of my eyes/but sometimes, sometimes
I cry when I can’t do nothin’ else.”</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i>Stick
that in Your Country Song</i> (Eric Church).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A tale of the hard workin’, maybe mildly disillusioned American. A good
old rebellious country shout.</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">11.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i>Sinners
Like Me</i> (Eric Church). A little drinkin’, a little growin’ up, a little regret,
memories.</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">12.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i>In
Color</i> (Jamey Johnson). A family story about coping with tough times the best
you can.</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">13.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i>Jack
Daniels</i> (Eric Church). No equivocation here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Just straight up a man and his bottle, the bottle kicking his ass again
and again.</p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"> </p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">14.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i>Nobody
to Blame</i> (Chris Stapleton). When he says, “Turned my life into this country
song,” that about says it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Prison is
one long country song, when you think about it.</p>
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<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">DAY 90!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>3 months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A quarter of a year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A whole season.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like many other prisoners, I have been living under unusual confinement
rules, what they call a “modified schedule,” since Covid first hit a year
ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For the past 90 days, my cellmate
and I have been confined to a cell with a bunk bed and a toilet, ostensibly to
protect us from the virus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s been
<i>epically awful</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>For instance, of late, my cellie has taken
to eating 4-6 apples or pears a day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
don’t know if this sudden change of diet is the cause, but he has added a new
treat to his repertoire:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>4-5 times a day
he squats on the toilet next to our bunk and shits out roadkill. Love Canal and Lake Erie can now look at each other with an “at
least we’re not that bad” attitude.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
only resort is to spend most of the day with the blanket pulled over my face
because at least then I can only smell my own B.O., which I’m more or less
immune to at this point.
</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">One positive is that I’ve found a way to get my cellie to pipe
down when he waves the MAGA flag to get an entertaining argument going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has an undying love for Stephen King, whom
he regards as the greatest writer of our generation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His basis is “look how many of his books have
been turned into movies.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I try to
engage in intelligent discourse about how that statement actually may just say
that he writes books that make good movies and nothing more, he stands
unfazed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hemingway, Tolstoy, Delillo,
Faulkner, Lee, King.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyone else think
old Steve doesn’t belong on this list?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Anyway the other day another guy favorably compared Dean Koontz
to Stephen King.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, I’ve never read a
Koontz novel, but I’m guessing his books may fall into the same genre as
King.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, saying that sent my cellie
into an apoplectic fit. I thought he was going to finally challenge me to a
duel or something in defense of his writing hero.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I filed this away for future reference.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now, whenever the rumblings arise of “That damned Nancy
Pelosi!” or “The problem with BLM” or “What’s so wrong about naming a school
after Robert E. Lee?” all I have to say is “Man, I can’t wait to get out of
here and grab me a good Dean Koontz book” and my cellie freezes like a spotlit
deer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A-ha!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>MAGA Man’s Kryptonite!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Luckily, in spite of everything, even after 90 days, his
attempt to blow up the toilet, and his idolatry of the former President, we do
actually get along pretty well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m thankful
for having a good cellie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How we get
along, I don’t know, but somehow all considered, it appears to work.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Starting on Day 91, I’m going to stop griping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe, possibly – at least I’ll try.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And hey, you never know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Day 91 could be the day the cell door opens, we
receive our property, we get issued a full set of clothes….<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, A MAN CAN DREAM!</p>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">In Spanish they say, “Mas vale malo conocido, que Bueno por
conocer” to describe what has happened to us (We would have been better off
with the bad we knew (the SHU) than the unknown we imagined would be better
(quarantine on the Unit). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Coming out of
the Hole means we lost being able to take a shower whenever we wanted, but we
do have control over the lights in our cell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have a tv room, but no way to listen to shows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We live on a huge otherwise empty Unit of
prison cells and hallways where we might run laps or get out and stretch a
little, but because of quarantine, we’re only allowed out of our cells three
times a week for brief showers down the hall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Somehow, having a little bit of space so close, yet still denied, is
worse than being locked in the SHU.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">As I’ve mentioned before, we’ve been issued these over-sized
ridiculous jumpsuits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And for some
reason, on the Unit, our thin mattresses have built-in lumps at one end, intended, I
suppose to serve as pillows?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These lumps
are maybe a half inch higher than the mattress itself, clearly pawned off on
the BOP by some quack chiropractor hoping to create thousands of neck problems
and more business for himself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The only
safe way to sleep on these things is to lie flat on your back; otherwise you risk
waking up (if you can sleep at all) with a stiff neck or with aching shoulders. A real joy!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">There is one positive about being out of the SHU.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For the first time in months, we have an
unfrosted window that allows an occasional glimpse of sunlight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The view, however, leaves something to be
desired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seems to be a tennis court-sized
drainage area between our Unit and the outer containing wall of the prison, dank
and no doubt mosquito-infested.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve
only seen two birds dare to land on this mini-Dismal Swamp.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps we’ll see a cottonmouth emerge from
the central drain – that would be entertaining!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In other words, pretty much the same old shit in a slightly
different setting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve been locked in
for 76 days now, quite an ordeal for Low Security inmates accustomed to some
freedom of movement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>76 days = 1,824
hours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Out of those 1,824 hours I
personally have been allowed outside for a grand total of 2.5 hours, for
shackled walks to the bus, the office, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only a few of those precious minutes could be considered recreation
time, pacing in a glorified dog kennel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But wait, if I add the cumulative shower time and phone time in the
hallway over the past couple of weeks, that doubles my total time out of my cell over the past nearly 3 months!<br /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Clearly, being treated this way is not healthy, physically
or mentally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s hard, really HARD.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet in denying my request for Compassionate
Release last fall, the judge cited that the BOP has our situation “under
control” and Covid “contained.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I invite
this worthy fellow to spend a week with us and perhaps reconsider his
judgment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being in prison is punishment
enough, but being shuffled halfway across the country and being treated like
crap for months so the BOP can pretend to be doing something about the pandemic?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is simply cruel.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">As for the BOP’s Covid plan?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Despues de nino ahogado, tapen el pozo.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(They covered the well after the child had
drowned.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I guess the judges,
lawmakers and the public are buying their BS.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Living through it, I can tell you that not since the start of the
lockdowns last March have I witnessed anything to make me believe that
they had/have/or will have this situation under control.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I pluck away, trying to stay sane and healthy, doing whatever
I can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“No hay mal que por bien no venga.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(There is nothing bad that doesn’t come for
good, or as we Anglo’s say it, “Every cloud has a silver lining.”)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, let me tell you, this is one damn big
cloud.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One can only hope that the
eventual silver lining is proportional!</p>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">Breaking news this morning from our resident John Coffey
guy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He shared an anecdote about how his
neighbors once approached him to inquire if he might be selling drugs out of
his house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This really ticked him off,
so he yelled at them, calling them racists for accusing him of dealing drugs
just because he was Black, etc., etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They said, wait a minute, we’re talking about all the cars coming in day
and night, staying a minute, then driving off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Oh yeah, he shouted back, the reason for that is (and I quote):<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I’m a popular-ass mother__r, people like me,
come from all over to just say, hey!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Yeah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like people make
pilgrimages to his house, just to bask in his presence or something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway, he wraps up this tale of magnificence
and badness with the following:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I
really put them racists in their place, I mean how dare they?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, I was moving product, but how dare
them to think that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hmm?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I asked, have you considered that the reason they thought
you were selling drugs might have been BECAUSE YOU WERE SELLING DRUGS?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wish you could have seen his sincere
indignation about this, that anyone would accuse him of such a thing – absolutely amazing!</p>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">The news about the Washington Football Team parting ways with
quarterback Duane Haskins led to the following discussion between my cellie and
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apparently, former NFL player and
current sports analyst Booger MacFarland (who happens to be Black – adding an
extra dimension to this whole thing) claimed that Haskins was just another example
of young Black athletes being more concerned with image and branding than with
getting the job done.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My cellie felt this proved that, as he believes, Black
people are lazy:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I mean, even another
Black guy said it!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thus began our
discussion of the term “confirmation bias.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I asked him if failed quarterbacks Johnny Manziel and Ryan
Leaf represented all White athletes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Of
course not,” he replied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So then, why
would you think Haskins stands in for all Black people?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or even Black quarterbacks?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just getting started, I offered the sterling
examples of Russell Wilson, Patrick Mahomes, Lamar Jackson, and Jalen Hurts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And you know what, I actually had him
thinking.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Stepping away from pro football, I asked him to also consider
the prison library lady. Yesterday, she and her co-worker – both Black – came by
and handed out book request forms, which she came back to collect, saying, “I’ll
bring your books tomorrow.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, by the
4 pm count, still no books!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Books are
basically our only form of diversion in lockdown, so as the afternoon dragged
on, our disappointment evolved into ranting up and down the hall.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">“See, I told you those library workers are all lazy!”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">“Did it on purpose, lying to us, see they’re all spiteful!”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I counted five different guys sharing these complaints, all
having their bias confirmed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The truth
most likely during the Covid crisis is that they weren’t allowed back onto our
ward. That said, I find this thinking runs rampant in prison, generalizing from
the particular, as in “I told you, all ______ are ______, just look at _______!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But as we talked, it seemed that my cellie
was gradually coming around to my point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I told him that before coming to prison, I didn’t know anyone from
Tennessee and assumed they must all be meth-addled hillbillies cursed with
marginal grammar, missing teeth, and closets full of Sudafed (of course, I knew
that wasn’t true, figuring that a few of those preppy Vandy students must in
fact be native Tennesseans).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, wouldn’t
you know it, having now met my cellie and his homeboys, my bias has been confirmed!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He laughed at that one, and admitted I may have a
point.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">From the Far Right to Antifa to BLM to the police, all we
hear about are the few bad apples, so folks end up branding the whole based on
the few who confirm their preconceived biases.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Which brings me back to the library lady.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tried to explain that the only FACT we had
was that the books had not been delivered, as promised.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why, though, must we pass judgment and
personalize everything?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The block went
quiet for a minute, and then the guys all loudly agreed that I was crazy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I tried.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It works for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But seriously isn’t it better to err on the
side of open-mindedness than on the closed door of prejudice?</p>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">It’s a grim day for the Anti-Orange-Fuzz Brigade.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The tide is turning, we are losing the
battle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fuzz has infiltrated and is taking
over. Just this morning, I awoke with a stuffed nose, thinking my allergies
were acting up. I grabbed some toilet paper and went to work at what felt like
a meteor-sized booger. Much to my chagrin, what finally emerged was a hardened
glob of orange fuzz!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I apply some
deodorant and it comes away with orange fuzz. Between my toes, behind my ears.
A guy down the hall claims to have passed an orange fuzz-laced kidney stone.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, I am again faced with having to improve my methods.
Improvise or perish, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My new
modified Fuzz Collector Method (FCM): I grab my size 13 orange Croc’s (no, I’m
not six feet tall, the guard had a worse eye for sizing than a stoned teenager
at Payless who spends most of his day debating his equally brain-dead buddies
over the cinematic contributions of Sean Penn as Spicolli vs. Keanu in Bill
& Ted, while also constantly looking for George Carlin at the Circle K and asserting
“Strange things are afoot….” (While robbing the store blind of knock-off Vans
and calling all the customers Mr. Hand.))<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Okay, so yes, size 13’s.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My new technique:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I pull
my socks over the Orange Croc’s, tugging them up like a hideous pair of
gaiters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I then shuffle about the room
like an extra from “Land of the Lost” (late 70s-early 80s tv version, not the
horrendous Will Farrell remake), hoping that any fuzz displaced into the air
may be caught by static electricity in the gaiters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Unfortunately, my cellie appears to be working for the
enemy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have begun to suspect that he
sprinkles orange fuzz while I sleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
mean, no matter how often I explain standard Anti-Fuzz Protocol to him, it
doesn’t work. Picture Bill Murray proclaiming, “Army training, sir!” and you’ll
have a good idea of his discipline.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Guy’s
a 300-lb. orange pixy dust sprinkling Tinkerbell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And if that’s not bad enough, he has this amazing ability to
generate trash. I made a trash can out of brown paper bags, but it’s as if the
receptacle repels him!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m thinking of
writing a play “Felix and Oscar in the Pen.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But fear that Jack Klugman’s estate would sue me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But seriously, here’s an example: While
looking for a ketchup packet “stored” under his mattress, he discovered that it
had burst. He dipped his finger in the mess, tasted it, then scraped the rest
from the metal bunk and applied it to his hamburger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Felix in me cringes!</p>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">They say that Shakespeare either coined or brought into
common usage some very familiar words, such as “assassination” (<i>MacBeth</i>), “bedroom”
(A Midsummer Night’s Dream), “countless” (<i>Titus Andronicus</i>), “fashionable”
(some other play), “frugal” and “laughable” (<i>Merchant of Venice</i>), “lonely” and “useful”
(<i>King John</i>).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not all of his coinages
were “successful” (<i>Titus</i>, again), however, such as “crimeless” for innocent, “facinorous”
for wicked, and “recountment” for narrative.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span> </p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">All this as a lead in to this new guy on the unit, who aspires to be a
poet/spoken word artist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My nickname for
him is “Green Mile”, because he sounds exactly like John Coffey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has invented some new words and some
creative usages of familiar words. Only time will tell if he’s the Bard of the
era.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I submit for your consideration, complete with Green Mile’s
definitions:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Trans-gent-dyke (n.) – One of them f—ked up dudes, don’t
know if he a man or a woman.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Oyster (n.) – You know, like a clam, but in a lake. Some people
call ‘em “cloysters.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Jaunt (n.) – A general purpose noun, possibly derived from “joint”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ex. “You eat that chicken? That jaunt was
bangin’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or “I wrote a new jaunt” (poem).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or “I read the shit out of that jaunt”
(book).</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Med-i-nurse (n.) – A medical staffer who works at a federal
prison.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ex. All the change jinglin’ in her purse, I hear her comin’, it’s the medinurse.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I wish I could remember more of these words, but it’s hard
to hear over the constantly flushing toilet!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I do wonder, though, if our John Coffey may have a pet mouse?</p>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">Christmas in the SHU. That’s right, we did Thanksgiving in here, and now
closing in on Day 50 of protective covid quarantine. We blew through Christmas, and it looks
like we are going to hit the Trifecta and sail past New Year’s (not a corona-free
unit with space for us).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For dinner
Christmas Day, a malnourished Cornish game hen – had to be small enough to
squeeze through the tray slot – green beans, corn, rice, and a slice of wheat
bread.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a feast!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But beats our bag lunch of mystery meat,
PB&J and two mini-pies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All while
locked in the box for God only knows how much longer.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Phone call home?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nope!
A temporary moratorium on the 5:45 am wake-up lights? Nope!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Worst Christmas ever?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You bet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>At least the pies weren’t bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The highlight of the week was cell rotation, done for sanitation purposes,
so an orderly can clean the cells while they’re empty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone in the SHU is on quarantine, so none
of us could have Covid, but even so, they slap on handcuffs and move us to different
cells in a new wing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The cleaning is no
great shakes, either, consisting of a Styrofoam cup full of liquid cleaner. The
previous resident of our new cell clearly did not rank cleanliness very highly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Took me an hour to scrub the place, with one
orange sock on each hand (it was either the socks or my washcloth).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My cellmate thought the place didn’t look too
bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was right, if we lived under a
bridge!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I have had enough!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Enough of the ill-fitting orange clothes. Enough of the bagged meals
pushed through the slot. The freezing-ass cold stainless steel toilet. Drinking
out of an old milk carton, because we have no cups. Enough with the plastic
sporks! The random screamers, door bangers and cell-block philosophers at 3
am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Enough with the flashlight under the
door every half hour at night. The cheap-ass razors (might as well just pluck
every hair from your face), the lack of sunlight (some of the fairer-skinned
guys are nearly translucent at this point).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>AHHHGG!!!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My cellie’s hillbilly charm is starting to wear thin,
too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He explained today how he gets that
the law allows “them queers” to get married, but they should make it illegal
for them to kiss in public, “unless they are some hot-ass broads.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This after explaining that “White Pride” isn’t
in any way related to racism, it’s just about keeping the race pure and strong,
not “weakening” it through “mixing.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I give
up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Funny thing, as I’ve written before,
he is nice to everyone, regardless of color, but he has some messed up
beliefs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could title the saga of the
past fifty days “My Life with MAGA.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Dude definitely buys what Trump is selling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At times, as he drones on, I could swear his
voice morphs into that of Sarah Huckabee Sanders, explaining, “What the
President means to say….”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Speaking of Sarah Huckabee Sanders, and yes, at this point I
do know that I’m rambling, ranting and digressing, but it’s my rant, so any teachers
with degrees from high-falutin’ schools founded way back in like 1693 be
damned. Enough with themes! Enough with topic sentences!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I shall meander through this piece like
Stephen King getting paid by the page! Was I just channeling Opus from Bloom
County?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(If you don’t know who Opus is,
look it up on the Interwebs (Berkeley Breathed also wrote a great youth/adult
book entitled<i> Flawed Dogs</i>)). You can thank Al Gore, because you know he created
the Internet, just ask him (look it up). He said it about the same time he was
ginning up the “Climate Change” nonsense. I heard that Coast to Coast is about
the release a secret Trump report that those island nations in the South
Pacific are not disappearing from rising sea levels. They are actually being
flooded by Tipper Gore’s tears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She’s
still upset about how her music censorship backfired when someone told her “Greased
Lightnin’” isn’t really just about cars.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Forced her to cancel the annual “Tipper and Friends do Grease” holiday
spectacular.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And she had finally beaten
out that bitch Hilary for the part of Sandy. Who knew the Monica Lewinsky
Halloween outfit would be so appreciated by Director Bill Clinton?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Uh, where was I now?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sarah Sanders, right! But first we have to discuss Sean Spicer. Remember
him? Feels like sooo long ago. Although he was providing the world’s comics
with pure gold material, he eventually realized that the Trump Presidency had “jumped
the shark” (if unfamiliar, Google “the Fonz + Shark”) and his podium had
entered the express lane to career implosion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Dude hit the ejector switch, quit and then tried to pull a Shatner<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s a Shatner, you ask? A Shatner is when
you realize the joke is on you, embrace it, and resurrect your career, as
famously demonstrated by old Captain Kirk himself. (A political entertainment
example would be Bill O’Reilly going on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart,
proving he could laugh at himself, thus gaining new fans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">) </span>So Spicer pulls his Shatner and we get Sarah
Huckabee Sanders. Poor woman. You could see how defending Trump’s insanity wore
her down. By the end of her tenure, she looked as if she had just gone five
rounds with Rhonda Rousey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Drawn and
limp.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I expected Sally Strothers to pop
up and tell us that we could help for just a dollar a day!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But she, too, got out before it was too
late.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">Okay, I’m finished.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Feel much better.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Finally, to tie this all together:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Enough of this crappy, blotting, ink-stingy
flexi-SHU pen!</p>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">First I recall they sold tapes with white noise (ocean
waves, soft rain, maybe a breeze rustling through leaves), then came the
dedicated “sleep machines,” and I’m sure by now there must be dozens of apps
that help ease you off to slumberland.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, after all this time dealing with the noises of the SHU, I’m gonna
have to find one with three unique sound settings:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(1) constantly flushing toilet, (2) incessant
Echo Man, and (3) “Chicken.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The soundtrack of nighttime on the SHU, lulling me to sleep like a sledgehammer
to the skull!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Allow me to elaborate:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Constantly Flushing Toilet</u>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Okay, this is a stainless steel toilet with some serious flushing power.
On the International Scale of Flushing Strength, ranging from 1-10, with 1
being a gently swirling eddy barely taking down a tissue, and 10 flushing a whole
roll of 4-ply Charmin, these things are cranked to 11.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve seen them suck down a whole apple and a
t-shirt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Legend has it that a guy lost his
arm in one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now imagine that on the
other side of the wall where you are nestled in your pile of orange fuzz, in
your marginally clean prison garb (see earlier posts), that one of these
Defecation Hurricanes gets stuck in Flush Mode Non-Stop!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ALL NIGHT!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What am I to do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What will soothe
me to sleep?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t worry, there’s always…</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Incessant Echo Man</u>: Turns out the stainless steel shower is
a great place to produce an echo through the pipes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apparently, like a child discovering his voice
for the first time, some guy just can’t get enough of this echo effect. Every
damned night he hoots and hollers nonsensical ramblings into his shower, inflicting
these howls on the rest of us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
thought, surely the novelty will wear off after 1, 2…10 days?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No such luck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, won’t his cellie get tired of it? No sirree, you can also hear
that idiot in the background cackling with laughter, Echo Man’s personal laugh
track.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all decided to treat them like
children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ignore them, and they’ll stop,
right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Ferber Method for annoying
inmates.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But just when we appear to be
making headway, someone will shout, “Shut the F___ up!” and we are back to
Square One.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On occasion, though, we get
lucky, and Echo Man takes a break, leaving us with good old reliable “Chicken.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Chicken</u>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This guy
sleeps all day and stays awake all night. He begins and ends any verbal
exchange with deranged chicken-hen-rooster sounds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A typical example:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dude:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hey Chicken,
what’s up?</p><p class="MsoNormal">Chicken:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Bab-Bah-Bowk, nothin’ just readin’.
</p><p class="MsoNormal">Dude: What you readin’?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Chicken:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A book
called <i>1984</i> written in like 1940 about the future, but it’s now in the past,
aww shit my head hurts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Chicken out –
cockadoodle-doo!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dude: (laughing hysterically), Damn, that Chicken’s crazy!
</p><p class="MsoNormal">These barnyard conversations continue until 2-3 am every
night.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, finally, blessedly, you drift off to sleep, only to hear
the dreaded click of the light switches coming on between 5:30 and 6:30
am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thus we launch another Groundhog Day
of our non-punishment SHU Covid Quarantine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I must have missed the CDC guidelines on this protocol!</p>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">So here we sit, still in the SHU (the “hole”).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some may say, “40 days?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s the big deal?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve heard of guys doing years in solitary!”
or “I did 4 months for one shot.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Therein lies the difference. If we had violated some rule, then this
could be viewed as a logical consequence of bad behavior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All I did was get locked down for eight
months, have a succession of covid-positive cellmates, go to work to clean for
staff and inmates through it all, and then as my reward, get transferred
hundreds of miles away to another prison, just as the virus eased up in the prison
where I’ve lived for several years, and just as the virus is exploding at the
new place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before transfer, they put you
in the SHU as quarantine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After arrival
at the new place, they keep you in the SHU for quarantine, and now, here we
sit, because there is no safe place to put us, they say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a month and a half in a tiny cell with
another prisoner, any effort at a positive outlook is fading.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The food is still good, but a book to read, a breath of
fresh air, a glimpse of the outdoors, or even a new face to see would be a Godsend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most guys in here sleep all
day just to make it through, but I haven’t resorted to that yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My cellie has it mastered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I assume he sleeps night and day both, but I’m
not sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After forcing myself to stay
awake during what they say is daylight hours, in an effort to maintain some kind of normality, I’m out cold at night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">As I’m writing this, someone is calling out to “Young Covid”
the SHU rapper, who has been losing steam, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s turned to writing love songs, at least that’s what he calls
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m dubious, because I heard him
brainstorming words that rhyme with “bitch”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe a pet name?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The rumor is that some guys in the compound are popping
positive for covid, so we may be stuck here even longer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t even want to think about that, and
then what if they do let us out of SHU and call another lockdown like in the other
prison?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been through one widespread
outbreak behind bars, and somehow made it through without getting sick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Coud I get so lucky again?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought I was brought here for my protection,
but out of the frying pan into the fire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>At least I can say that the staff here appears to be straightforward and
candid about our situation, unlike the mess I left behind.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Oh – a wink of light!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The Book Unicorn did show-up!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Says
we may get some books to spell our boredom in a couple days!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">Will we get out by Christmas?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The 34 of us bused here hundreds of miles
from the prison near our families to this faraway prison where we know no one
already did Thanksgiving in Covid Quarantine, and that was more than enough to make us
feel like gum on the bottom of a shoe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
cellmate rolled over the other day, looked at me as I paced the room (212 laps
wall to wall is about a mile) and said, “Cellie, I’m gonna need you to do me a favor.
Any time I wake up, you just go UFC on me and choke me out, okay?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The days are mind-numbing, unless you are one of those guys
who can somehow sleep 18 hours straight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There are only so many push-ups, squats, and wall sits to be had.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though I know only the rudiments of the game,
I spent four hours constructing a chess set out of white paper, envelopes, and a
brown paper bag. No ruler, no scissors, no glue, except from the envelope
flaps.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I folded, creased, tore pieces of
paper, and then -- using old napkin-folding skills from my days as a waiter more
than 30 years ago, mixed with pseudo-origami techniques -- fashioned unique 3-D
forms to distinguish the different shapes of the pieces. Wetting the flap of an
envelope allowed for a bit of adhesion when and where necessary. Coloring 32 squares
for the board was the hardest part, using a 3.5 inch fake-lead rubber pencil.
Since I’m no grand master, making the set was more fun than playing, but I’m
getting better, even won a few times.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The guys next door made playing cards. Two doors down a guy
dubbed himself “Young Covid” and started rapping. I don’t know if he’s actually
getting better or if I’m losing my mind completely, but he’s starting to sound
pretty good. I had plans to ride his coat-tails to fame, but my lyric-writing career
ended abruptly when I suggested the word “Ovid” to rhyme with “covid”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Silence on the block.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can only imagine the looks.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">After the failure of my rap career, I had to find other
diversions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s when I started the “War
Against the Orange Fuzz.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our clothing,
sheets, blankets, and towels are all bright construction cone orange.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They shed fuzz faster than a golden retriever
in the summer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Using a wash cloth under
my shower shoes, I more or less skate around the room collecting fuzz. I then
sweep it into a pile with a brown bag, pick it up with toilet paper, and flush
it. If I did this hourly, there would still be fuzz.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I imagine the cells of some of the lazier guys;
they must wade knee deep through the stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The other day I sat and watched a section of the floor. Thinking, there
must be some point of initial arrival of fuzz, and I wanted to see it happen.
Nope! Empty one minute and in the blink of an eye – Fuzz! </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My cellie sleeps through it all, blissfully unaware of the sacrifices
I make for our nasal-sinus-olfactory health. In fact, my cellie sleeps through
almost everything. Not a bad strategy, come to think of it, but I don’t see how
he does it. In all honesty, he is rarely awake for more than two hours at a
time. I have to wake him for count times, for meals, for meds…. It’s to the
point now that the nurse comes to the door, taps, says my name, and just points
to sleeping beauty!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Although we don’t always have clean clothes to change into,
the shower is probably the best diversion. It gets hot and has no time limit.
Forty-five minute showers are not uncommon, three times a day. Just think of
it, killing 2 hours and 15 minutes in a hot shower every day. Hah – just when
you were feeling sorry for me! Bit jealous now?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Other than my physical training that keeps me in shape for
my duties as squad leader in the Anti-Fuzz Brigade, my patrol hours, showering,
and baby-sitting my generally comatose cellie, the only other thing I do is
hope that today may be the glorious day when the mythical representative from
Education shows up with books! I’d read anything at this point – an Amish Romance
Mystery? I’m in!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Well, off to do my rounds. Orange Fuzz has again infiltrated
the perimeter. I HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO FIGHT!!</p>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">Did I break a rule? Get caught with contraband? Nope – I’m
in the midst of the Covid Quarantine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Due to the epic ineptitude of the prison where I’ve spent the last five years (officially 600 out of 1200 prisoners infected, 40 deaths and one staff death (real infection rate is much higher – trust me, I heard the labored breathing),
the BOP took over and started mass transfers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Problem being, if all the prisons have outbreaks, where do you send
anybody?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I guess they want to look
like they’re doing something, anything, which is how I find myself in the SHU
of a strange prison, far from home, with no communication to the outside world,
a world I can only assume is still being ravaged by Coronavirus. No books, no
radio, no recreation, one change of clothes, a notepad, and a crappy barely
functioning flexi-pen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not being punished,
I’m being quarantined.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is just how
prison transfers happen in the era of covid, so they say.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My cellie and I get along, but after 32 days in such close
quarters I think even Mother Teresa woulda choked the shit out of Gandhi! (Only
if he hadn’t pimp-slapped her first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">) </span>We
can’t talk about certain topics, however, without him going all Tennessee
hillbilly on me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s a good guy, we just
don’t see eye to eye on much. Picture that stereotypical rural white guy in his
MAGA hat, calls Biden a Socialist, views Fox News as Gospel, and believes Black
Lives Matter is a conspiracy against the White Man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As long as we avoid politics we do okay, but
sometimes our 90 square feet can feel like about 50.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All this being said, you might ask how I can
characterize him as a “good guy”?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Borderline racist, definitely prejudiced against Blacks, but yet has
Black friends. A conundrum. He grew up in an all White county and is definitely
a product of that environment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can
see how Trump and his scare tactics work on him, the subtle (or not so subtle)
messages convincing him that the people advocating for change in our society
want to take something from him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I’ve
never seen him being unkind to anyone. He is generally generous and friendly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s a considerate cellie, and except for his
snoring, easy to live with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">We’ve just
had enough after 32 straight days. I need time to myself, I need to go outside
(walking cuffed and leg-shackled to the bus at 1:30 AM in the pouring rain
doesn’t count), I need to just see the outside, which we can’t do because our
one window is frosted – anything to break the monotony!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some guys talk of having done 6-7 months or
more like this, at times entirely alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What type of “civilized” country are we, when the brilliant minds in America
can’t come up with something better than the soul-crushing, punitive,
non-rehabilitative form of mass incarceration we are inflicting upon our own
citizens?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It takes a lot to soldier
through and many guys don’t have the support of family and friends that I
have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I see the pain, suffering, and
sorrow all around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I see my fellow man
struggling mightily. I look around, thinking, “Really, America, is this the best
we can do?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
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{page:WordSection1;}</style></p>CRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13182046738836060480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224415902765068766.post-45035383828288296312020-09-12T10:24:00.004-07:002020-09-12T10:24:30.113-07:00Prison Lockdown Running Playlist<p>Three times a week during corona-lockdown we get 90-minutes outside, and with a little stretching first, I can knock off an eight mile run on the little track in the Yard. Here's my playlist for the run these days:</p><p><b>Lana Del Ray - Doin' Time.</b></p><p>Summertime and the livin' is easy.... Easing into the run, imagining being anywhere but here on a lazy summer day.</p><p><b>Dave Matthews Band - All Along the Watchtower.</b></p><p>Dave is the soundtrack of my college years, and when he sings Dylan's line: "There must be someway out of here," well, 'Nuff said. Starts off nice and easy like a jog but then builds to a manic jam!</p><p><b>Led Zeppelin - Hey Hey What Can I Do.</b></p><p>Midtempo, getting into the run now, energetic, but nails my helpless feelings during lockdown: "Hey Hey What Can I Do?"</p><p><b>Matthew Sweet - Girlfriend.</b></p><p>Picking up the pace now. If you've never heard this 90's classic, you're missing out. Song straight out rocks! Whatever happened to Matthew Sweet?</p><p><b>Carrie Underwood - Smoke Break.</b></p><p>When you are running in little circles for an hour, you need more than just a beat, and this one tells a good story. Though I don't smoke or drink, this song expresses so well that need to just escape from life for a minute: :...make the world stop and watch it fade away." </p><p><b>One Republic - Counting Stars.</b></p><p>3 miles down, lap 7 on our track, this one's upbeat and energizing, wailing, "Everything that kills me makes me feel alive!" I'm thinking, whatever happens, I'm coming out the other side alive!</p><p><b>Marshall Tucker Band - Can't You See.</b></p><p>Nice training pace, just cruising along now. "Gonna take a southbound all the way to Georgia, Lord, 'til that train runs out of track." I feel like Forrest Gump, want to find an exit and just keep running...anywhere but here.</p><p><b>The Head and the Heart - All We Ever Knew.</b></p><p>Midtempo, chugging now, I sing along to help pace myself. "It's time to wake up from this." For me, of course, "this" being the holding pattern that is prison. The song reminds me to snap out of my funk and get on with living.</p><p><b>Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit.</b></p><p>This tune shouts alienation, disillusionment, anger - says pick up the pace, six miles approaching, hit it strong.</p><p><b>Old Crow Medicine Show - Alabama High Test.</b></p><p>I like this song for two reasons: (1) I could use a boost about now, and (2) I'm sure as hell running from something - maybe just my past - but I definitely don't want to get caught.</p><p><b>The Toadies - Possum Kingdom.</b></p><p>Onto mile 7, pick 'em up and put 'em down. Just smile and keep on rollin'.</p><p><b>Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man.</b></p><p>No idea what they meant when they wrote it, but this song means a lot to me. About owning up to what you did, knowing that you hurt people, not hiding from it, but with a little defiance in there, too. Here's a line to my wife, kids, Mom, Dad, sibling, everyone I hurt:</p><p>"It was not your fault but mine/and it was your heart on the line. I really fucked it up this time/didn't I my dear?"</p><p><b>The Cure - Just Like Heaven.</b></p><p>Surprisingly upbeat coming from these emo-rockers; loved this tune in high school and just recently rediscovered it.</p><p><b>Miley Cyrus - Party in the USA.</b></p><p>Impossible to get out of your head ear worm that makes me smile every time. Passing the one hour mark now. Some studies claim you can run harder if you smile, and I believe it.</p><p><b>Kelly Clarkson - Stranger.</b></p><p>"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."</p><p>"Think you got the best of me? Think you got the last laugh?"</p><p>I dedicate this song to the current run, to the coronavirus, to lockdown, to prison, and to the shambles I made of my life. I'm down, but I'm not out.</p><p><b>Kid Rock - Only God Knows Why.</b></p><p>I know Kid Rock is no Bob Dylan, but he nailed it on this song. "Somehow I know there's more to life than this, I've said it many times and I still stand firm, you get what you put in and people get what they deserve. Still I ain't seen mine, no I ain't seen mine, I've been giving just ain't been getting, I've been walking that there line, so I think I'll keep walking with my head held high, I keep moving on and only God knows why."</p><p><b>Ozzy Osborne - Mama, I'm Coming Home.</b></p><p>At 75 minutes in, recreation is over and I'm done. And I'm thinking, it may be next month or next year, but don't doubt it - I'll be coming home!</p><p>So there you have it. Add some razor wire and a motley collection of sun-starved, shell-shocked inmates; stir in circles for 75 minutes, and you've had a wonderful prison run. Sure beats the alternative of my bedridden fellow prisoners, and those who Covid has taken. Keep a rollin'!<br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>CRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13182046738836060480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224415902765068766.post-70963279431089109112020-08-31T18:07:00.000-07:002020-08-31T18:07:57.443-07:00Covid-19 Related Quotes<p>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">“I’m not worried.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Asymptomatic
runs in my family.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">“What?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re locking
us in all together so we can social distance? What kind of f**ked up sh*it is
that?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>As the list of inmate deaths reaches 24</u>:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">“If an inmate dies in prison and the warden doesn’t
acknowledge it, does anyone hear?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Neighbor overheard praying</u>:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">“Dear God, I swear I will never take my good fortune for
granted again, knowing you have graced me with all I have, just PLEASE, no more
peanut butter!”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Guy 1:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How much you
want for the turkey?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Guy 2:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>4 stamps and the
peanut butter thrown in.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Guy 1:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t have
any peanut butter.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Guy 2:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, I’ll sell
you the turkey but you gotta take the peanut butter, too!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Random explosion on Day 58 of Covid-19 Lockdown, no one leaving
the dorm</u></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">As God is my witness, if one more person asks me if I saw
the weather report – we can’t go outside anyway, IT DOESN’T MATTER!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>One inmate to another, after being informed by the Asst.
Warden that our possibly becoming infected by guards is a “faulty premise.</u>”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Mark my words, they’re going to end up blaming this flu on
us!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>One day later, staff member to inmate drinking coffee with
mask around his chin</u>.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">You see, that’s why people are sick – because YOU PEOPLE
aren’t careful!”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Inmate to others after yet another announcement that left us all
feeling abandoned</u>:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It’s time we put all the BS aside. This isn’t about your
charges, your gang, your color, religion or car*.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is about being human, being a man. We
are all brothers, we need to help each other, we need to all make it. So I don’t
know about the rest of you – you make the choice – but I know I gotcha. I am my
brother’s keeper!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">*Car = slang for where you came from (the VA Car the DC car,
etc.)</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
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<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Posted Example of a Disciplinary Shot</u>: </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">All inmates at the LSCI are required to <i>dawn</i> a mask at all
times in the housing unit. (Thank goodness they clarified!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d been <i>dusking</i> my mask all this time.)</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Announced Response to Some Guys Decorating their Masks</u>:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Return to your Cubes! You will be issued new masks. Any
<i>altercations</i> involving masks will result in a disciplinary shot. (Phew, glad
they’re on top of this one! I nearly got my butt kicked last night by a couple
of surly masks.)</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Misunderstanding re Covid in Prison</u>:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Inmate:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Hey guard,
where’s your mask?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Guard: “You guys are negative, right? Don’t worry about me.
I won’t <i>contact</i> the virus.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Inmate: “Um, but you could give it to us.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Guard: “It came from y’all in the first place!”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">(Okay, where to go with this? I think he really does believe
Covid mysteriously came from us, as if it floated in on a cloud and infected us
inmates first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And how is it that the
guards get away without wearing masks around us?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally, does he actually think the guy
asked him about it because we’re worried about him?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>Contact</i>?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Hope he meant <i>contract</i>.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><u>Guard Addressing a Group of Guys Gathered at a Cube</u>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Hey, remember your <i>sociable</i> distancing!”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">(We discussed this one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Was the guard being clever? Intentionally funny? If so, pretty good. Or
was it just a lucky swing? The 300-yard drive after a million mulligans? I’m
leaning towards the blind squirrel finding a nut – but you never know.</p>
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