A Man Died Two Nights Ago

He was not sick, he didn’t fall down the stairs or suffer some other tragic accident, and he was not a victim of violence.  He got out of bed, walked to the bathroom and took off his shoes.  Unlaced his boots and tied one end to a hook on the back of the door.  He then secured the other end of the lace around his neck and sat down.  By all accounts, at least 10 guys used the bathroom, possibly in the neighboring stall, while he slowly strangled himself.  The administration locked down his unit, while they tried to determine how this could have happened without anyone noticing.  It was finally discovered when someone noticed the man's unmoving feet sticking out under the door of the stall.  Of course, the immediate question is, “Why?”

Facts have trickled out to us inmates, mixed with rumor and hearsay as usual.  Staff does not want us to know what happened.  They appear to be more concerned about blowback on them rather than caring for the inmate and his family.  Did he ask for help that was ignored?  Could he or should he have been found sooner, maybe soon enough to save his life?  The story from the inmates who knew him is that a motion for a sentence reduction was denied.  He had already been in prison for ten years and was facing that much more.  Why was he in jail?  I don’t know and I really don’t care.  A man died, a life was lost, and yet nothing changed.  We were called to count, we were searched, we were told not to ask any questions, we were expected to carry on as if nothing had happened.  But something did happen.  A man lost Hope, he lost the will to go on fighting.  This happened in the building where I reside and I’m supposed to just ignore it?

I did not know this man, but I will show him respect.  I walk away when guys gossip.  I ignore those wanting to joke about it or belittle the situation or the person.  I refuse to not feel.  I will remain humane.  I will try to help those who seem to be losing hope.  A man died two nights ago.  I cried.  I cried for him.  I cried for his family.  I cried for all of us living here that are expected to ignore the loss of a human life.