We begin with a 45-minute argument over who has the
classiest and smartest woman on the streets, concluding with:
Bro #1: (haughty,
condescending) Let me ask you this: Do
you know what a lobotomy is?
Bro #2: C’mon
man…what you think, I’m stupid?
Bro #1: I don’t know,
you tell me.
Bro #2: Yeah, see,
the chick at the hospital, when she takes your blood, that’s a lobotomy.
Bro #1: Okay, good
job.
Bro #2: Hell yeah it
is!
Bro #1: That’s what
my girl does, she’s a lobotomist. (Then
simulates mike drop and walks away.)
If I’d offered phlebotomist, would they have called this a
nose doctor? (phlegm? Got it?
Ha!)
And this:
Watching the MTV show Ridiculousness the other day,
featuring crazy things that happen in cars.
Two guys driving down the highway when a snake pokes its head into the
tiny gap in a barely opened window. The
camera flashes to the speedometer – 75 mph.
One guy in the tv room turns to another and the following exchange
ensues:
Guy #1: Man, I don’t
believe this shit!
Guy #2: Me neither.
Guy #1: I mean, like
yeah, ain’t no way a snake jumped off the ground and grabbed that car at 75
mph!
Guy #2: Yeah, maybe
25 or 30, but 75? They smarter than
that!
I’m surrounded by Geniuses!
Geniuses, I tell ya!
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