The songs on today's playlist all get to me in some way. I'm not claiming that they're all great songs or that they'll make you cry, but they work for me. When I don't care to fake it or put on the brave face, I just put this on and let it roll. This playlist, for me, is cathartic, cleansing in a way. All the stress from the pandemic and the BOP's response, all the hassles my fellow inmates and I have endured, the isolation, loneliness, sorrow - I find that sometimes you have to embrace it.
We were allowed outside early this morning, 39 degrees and windy. I put on my earphones and ran, not too fast, not hard, but just let the music drive me through all my feelings, "alone" with them for 45 minutes. Just ran away from it all. I'd like to claim that it was the wind and allergies that had my eyes watering, but you'd know better. Anyway, here are the songs on my Emotional Overload Playlist, in hopes they may connect with you:
1. Hallelujah (Jeff Buckley). Pure beauty this version of Leonard Cohen's classic.
2. Bartender (Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds version). DMB does tearjerkers? What gets me here is Dave's tone of desperation throughout, on bended knee searching for something, anything....
3. Can't Find My Way Home (Eric Clapton & Steve Winwood). A guy strummed this on guitar on the ballfield one evening at dusk, while we all sang along, lost in thought over the hard journey ahead to find our ways home.
4. Bother (Stone Sour). "I wish I was too dead to care...I wish I was too dead to cry...my flaws are open season." Any guy in prison will tell you they've had these thoughts. Some give in and go dead inside. The rest of us? Just gluttons for punishment, I guess.
5. Bridge Over Troubled Water (Simon & Garfunkle). Maybe you have to be over 40 to know this song, and if so, no explanation needed. If younger, hit the Interwebs - it'll be worth it.
6. Into the Mystic (Van Morrison). One of my Top Ten Favorite Songs Ever! Van at the top of his game, every line telling a story, and all that longing oozing.
7. Nothing Compares 2 U (Prince & Rosie Gaines). It's Prince's song, but it's Gaines who pushes it to the stratosphere. When they trade lines they just tear at your heart, then the horns hit to bring it home.
8. Cold (Chris Stapleton). Dude sounds as if his heart is absolutely shattered. No idea if this is autobiographical, but I'm buying it. The guitar crying in the background adds a knockout punch.
9. He Ain't Heavy... (Neil Diamond). Cheesy, you say? Maybe. Do you have a brother? Close friend? Sister? This song will make you want to give them a call.
10. Fast Car (Black Pumas). "Anyplace is better." Trying so damned hard, but getting nowhere, yet still optimistic about somehow starting over.
11. Love Me Anyway (Pink & Chris Stapleton). Who hasn't had these thoughts?
12. Sometimes I Cry (Chris Stapleton). When I can't do nothin' else....
13. I and Love and You (Avett Bros. - Live Vol. 3). My wife and I sang along to this tune at one of their concerts, and as I remember it, half the crowd was singing along, too, in tears.
14. Everybody Hurts (REM - Live in Dublin). While you aren't sitting in lockup like me, you and everyone else out there has hurt. But it helps to remember, that you are not alone.
15. Anyone (Demi Lovato - Live at Grammy's). She has to re-start it, because she starts crying. Power, vulnerability, despair - heart-wrenching! This one's the knockout punch - if your iron heart has not cracked after this one, you must be an android.
Okay, that's the new list - hope you like it! It helps me, and maybe it can do the same for you on a tough day.
