The Library Chair

I am a librarian.  In a prison.  I earn 25 cents/hour.  And under the circumstances, I would not trade my job for anything.  Definitely for me the best work assignment on the compound.  Why, you ask?  Is it the quirky cast of characters mentioned in a previous blog post?  Is it access to books at what may be one of the top prison libraries around?  First crack at magazines and newspapers?  All good benefits, no doubt, but what really makes this the best prison job is (drum roll) the chair!  Each day during my shift I get to rest my behind on what has to be the most comfortable chair in the compound.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not some $2000 ergonomic masterpiece from Sweden, but we’re talking at least maybe high-end Office Depot.  It’s amply padded.  It has lumbar support.  Adjustable butt support.  It spins!  How did such a luxury find its way to the prison library?  I can only imagine that it was ordered by accident and rather than admit a mistake or take the time to fill out the paperwork required to send it back, they just left it here.  My back and rear end sure are grateful for that!

Because comfort is hard to come by in prison.  Our bunks are metal with a minimal mattress.  TV room and chow hall chairs are molded plastic.  The seats on desks are swing out stools.  The floor is industrial tile and the walls are cinder block.  Prison attire is poly or cotton/poly blend – I mean, the INHUMANITY!  But seriously, sometimes I go to work early just to sit in my wonderful chair.  It’s gotten so bad that I’ve even dreamed about this chair.  And if someone has the audacity to plop down in MY chair during my shift, well, it can get ugly.  After all, as we all know, librarians have sharp tongues!  But sometimes, on a beautiful 60-degree day when the yard is open for activities, the library is empty.  Then, I can lean back, prop my feet up and take a nap in MY chair.  Ahh, heaven!